I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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