I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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