woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
