omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wish my penis had a tongue
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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