Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
