Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
