I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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