This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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