I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
this will be a night to untag.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
