Bisexual people are plain selfish.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm at about main and main street
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
