im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize