why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
