Where did you get a picture of my penis
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
