he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
