If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
