Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my sisters under your porch take her home
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
