The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
love makes seman taste better
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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