And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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