I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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