Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
