you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
