I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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