We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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