You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
