dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
