dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
