: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
