I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
