life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize