Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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