Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
