Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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