I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize