I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
