Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
