honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
