mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
