oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
