I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
