How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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