I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
