u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
