I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize