Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
