Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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