she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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