So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
