They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
