I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
