Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize