I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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