Me. At least after what I've been through.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
