Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
