Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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