i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
