i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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