just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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