im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
