I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize