Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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